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The finest source of absurd and abstract!

Rama’s Musings

I really don’t get what the big deal is. I don’t get why people are always saying that she’s the love of his life while I’m the one he settled for.

 

But I married you! You’re the one!

 

Yeah, but I feel like a consolation prize sometimes. It’s not easy living up to the high bar someone else has already set before you. What am I supposed to do if she was so awesome and everyone just wants to talk about that? It’s annoying. I’m here now, so let’s talk about me instead!

 

Look, why are we even talking about this. It was so long ago. Even I don’t think about it anymore, he lied.

 

You won’t get it. You won’t get what it is like to be the one after the love story. You get to be the love story, every time. It’s easy to be loved but loving is hard and you get no credit for it. Everyone is always saying Radha Krishna. Radha was the one. Her love is true unconditional love. What about mine? Why does no one talk about Rukmini’s unconditional love? Why is it not glamourous enough? I’m sorry there isn’t enough drama in my life to keep people hooked. I feel like a runner up.

 

You’re the one who gets to have me. You’re the one I choose, every day. Even on days when nothing goes right for me, I know that I have you and it’s a feeling that doesn’t need the glorification of poetry and drama. It’s the ease of it all. The ease with with I can talk to you even without saying a word. The ease of being able to divulge all my secrets to you with just a blush. The ease of knowing that you’re standing next to me at all times, even if when we’re not together! I can smell your hair as soon as I think of you. Why would poets waste their time on this simplicity when forbidden love makes for a such an exhilarating tale? But you’re the one I want to talk about and discuss these exhilarating tales with. You get to share my past, my present and my future with me. It’s a longer story than any man has learnt to tell in words.

 

Instantly she was reminded why she had fallen in love with the man who gave up everything for her. Even true love.

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Not Enough

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Kuch likh raha tha kal

Mere zehen ki siyahi se

Phir socha kya fayda hai waqt zaya karke?

Inhi fayde-nuksaan ke khayalon me kho gaya

Aur ek haseen lamha mere haathon se kho gaya

 

Kuch gaa raha kal

Mere zehen ki awaaz me

Phir socha kaun sun raha hai mujhe?

Inhi sune-ansune khayalon me kho gaya

Phir se ek haseen lamha mere haathon se kho gaya

 

Kuch sapne dekh raha tha kal

Mere zehen ki aankhon se

Phir socha in sapnon ka bojh kyun sahun?

Inhi sapno ne hi toh mujhe tabaah kar diya

Aur yunhi ek haseen zindagi mere haathon se kho gayi

Jihad Enough Yet?

It’s a great time to have opinions so here goes:

Perhaps the single biggest institutional failure on the part of authorities and governments across the world is the sheer lack of education delivery systems. The schooling systems worldwide are largely broken, despite the presence of the IITs and Stanfords and Oxfords of the world.

In the last 50 years, when were were in the wake of two world wars, instead of breeding a generation of educated, liberal thinkers, we’ve become ageneration that voted for the brexit, may vote for trump and may vote again for a government that thinks banning beef and artists from working in films will help solve the world’s problems.

Dear US, instead of sending thousands of troops to war torn third world countries, why not send a few hundred educators and counsellors and troops in equal proportions? Or us, instead of conducting surgical strikes and banning their artists, why not build a school of drama and art there and help open the minds of our people who haven’t gotten a chance to yet.

It’s because we don’t have the teachers. We have troops – it’s a glamourous, respectful job. Being an educator though, isn’t. My mother is a primary school teacher and I see how unglamourous and underappreciated her job is, underneath all the respect and teachers day gifts.

Creating a generation of educators will help solve so many problems, seemingly on autopilot. Our collective educated intelligence will cure cancer and defeat terrorism. But we need teachers and for that, we need to appreciate and stand up for the ones we have now. Just like we stand up for our troops every time someone says something mean about them.

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Yo Monalisa can I get a date this Friday?

He asked, and got one too. It was that easy. It was that fucking easy man. The grey snugly fit shirt was ready, the ill fitting black jeans that were so gross were ready, god knows what shoes I wore but I’ll bet they were ready too. Boy did I look sharp that day.

Everything was ready. The A game was brought, the shirt and jeans notwithstanding. A few beers, vodka, cigarettes and conversations about teenage masturbation and counselling for pedophiles later, this was a runaway success. From exchanging names at the comedy club in a mall a few months ago, we sure had come a long way. Little did I know just how long and far we still had to go.

Because life hits you with these jolts that good or bad, are so hard to deal with. Just when you think you’ve got this shit figured out and you’ve recovered from that last jolt, BAM! Another one slaps you in the face like James Deen’s cock.

 

I digress. Apologies.

 

Everything was ready. Nay, it was poetic. Literally something out of a crusty paperback erotica. It was a 70 mm masterpiece waiting to be filmed and appreciated. It was heaven, it was hell and everything in between. It was sex, drugs and violence dissected into electrons and bombarded into our lives to create fucking electricity. It was science and faith, matter and anti matter, all at the same time. It travelled faster than the speed of light and yet, when we were together, time seemed to come to a standstill. It was nuclear.

But man has not yet harnessed controlled nuclear fusion. So for the time being, it’s fission that we must make our peace with. Fusion only happens in the sun and you get too close to the sun, you’re gonna get burnt (as Icarus, Sampati and I would learn the hard way, not much of a support group really).

The door is bolted shut. I don’t want to see a human face. Go away, he said.

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Shine bright like a diamond doston

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We conform our universe to another person’s imagination and ideas. We act out, get bitter and say horrible things that can’t ever be taken back. We get so riled up about silly things that don’t matter while the real monsters creep up from behind and sweep us off the floor. Why do we put ourselves through this? Over and over again, till we fall down only to get up again because we’re masochists.

We are the generation that wants everything. During the day we want sanskaars, love of our parents and the community that sustains us, we want to save the planet and be responsible. But at night, we want to rage. We want to let go of everything that holds us down and tells us it can’t be done. It’s not youthful unabashedness, it’s just a sense of knowing so much more than any other generation before us has collectively known and experienced. Our collective reality is a wonderful gift that we get to enjoy the most with iphones and ubers and tinder and youtube.

Today everyone is in a position to go out that make the choices in life that are best for them. Not too long ago, you were dealt a bad hand by life and there really wasn’t much you could do about it. Today we have archers with no hands taking part in the Olympics. A little girl who lives in Chembur is the biggest k pop fan there is for miles and miles around her.

So then why do we get so petty and short sighted? What holds us back from loving freely and recklessly? Why do we not embrace the possibilities around us to create the life that we want instead of the one we get? Why not change and learn and grow instead of being a rock that just stays put in history not moving or evolving or absorbing the experiences around it. We are the sum total of all our experiences, so go out and make more everyday. Shine bright like a diamond doston.

An open letter to all Indians

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Every civilisation has interpreted climatic changes differently; the only common link is that there’s never been a time when we’ve been as indifferent to climate change as we are today.

Our very own civilisation was not late to the party at all, we have our own stories to tell from our glorious past of how Tansen could charm the weather with his vocal dexterity into taking the form that he desired and even much earlier in the Mahabharata era of non fiction, archaeologically corroborated by B. R. Chopra’s television show of the same name where protagonists could cause anything from rain to thunderstorm to garlands and shiny disco balls to emanate from a divine arrow. Yeah, climate’s always kinda been our bitch.

But this not true anymore and as much as we ever delight in glorifying our past, the planet around is cracking under the siege of humanity that is now catastrophically more than it has ever been.

So the next time you book an air conditioned sedan just for yourself or throw away perfectly good food that you just weren’t in the mood for, under stand that you’re part of the problem and it behooves you to make up for it in some way, at the very least. By thinking about what you’ve done, at the very least.

I write this a voice of the sustainable community and every time this is discussed, liked or shared, our community grows stronger and the cause becomes a movement. We’re not asking anyone to change anything at present but simply spare a thought for the beautiful people that surround you and why it won’t be the worst idea to for all of them to have a planet that isn’t submerged in water.

Acknowledgements

For some time now I have known that women are the next stage of human evolution. They are intelligent, sensitive creatures who mature faster than us men, stay mature for much longer, make better decisions and are truly the kind of nurturing, caregivers that can carry a generation of people forward in time.

If women were in charge of things, we would have so much less suffering and so much more peace. We would discriminate less, be more compassionate and willing to make sacrifices for the greater good. There wouldn’t be so much starvation and disparity in the world. There wouldn’t be so much needless hatred and violence.

Here’s the thing though – men know all of this; we’ve known for a while and so we’ve tried to oppress and torment and scare and discourage and hold them down. And it’s worked too, because there is a whole lot of us out there and our collective existence can be quite annoying.

We’re a lot of selfish, petty, insecure wankers – some more so than others. The world is changing though, and it is changing fast. Perhaps we will all evolve into this next stage as a species while I am still alive. Perhaps it will take longer and I won’t get to see it, but make no mistake – it is only a matter of time.

I want to thank the many women who have been kind enough to let me be a part of their wonderful lives. Women like my mum, Neeta and so many other mums that raised wonderful children who grew up and became the people that I admire and adore. The list of all these people is endless but what they all have in common are the mums who I’m so, so grateful to.

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Aftermath

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I miss the ease of it all, I guess. The ease with which a lyric means the same thing to two people, the ease with which a single word can bring upon a giggle or laugh, the way you know exactly what words to say, what to do, how to appease and please. The simple clock work like routine of it. You stop having to impress because once you have opened you heart and mind to someone, they are either impressed by the beauty and the messy chaos or they aren’t. There is no precarious balance that is to be maintained. Tiny things begin to hold your attention, the way they scrunch their nose, the way a certain word is pronounced or the way they chew their lip when lost in thought.  While the whole still is important, the sum of the parts is something that is distinctly unique. Something that can’t be replaced.

Is it lazy to want to be able to bypass the tough part of actually opening up to someone and just being able to directly move on to the easy familiarity? To start the whole process again probably is exhilarating, but it also happens to be a time of terrible unsurety. The beauty during the first few dances may lie in its awkwardness however I prefer the slow languid movements of a known partner. I wonder if it has to do partly with my cynicism or my insecurities. It is tough to constantly maintain a facade, to not be able to share your quirkiness directly. To not scare them away by coming across as too opinionated when sarcastic and opinionated forms the core of your being.

I will have to plod through all this though. Say the required words, dance the required dances till I find someone who finds these to be just as pointless. To slowly figure out the pieces of the puzzle together. Once the puzzle is almost done, frame it while we relax with a cup of tea and watch the world move by. Find common songs and have stories that begin with “So the other day”. Till then, I will continue to focus inwardly and give people a reason to love me.

(Image: Apocalypse Please by Marek Okon)

Like the thought of our love

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I’m afraid of many things

Like the thought of our love

Fading away, as it often does

Or worse the thought of it

Morphing into resentment

And bitterness, and regret

Because if it just fades away

We’ll let it go but if it festers

Redemption will be sought

Failing that, anger and grief

Will wreak chaos in our lives

But more importantly though

It will erode and destroy

The memories we now cherish,

The sudden pangs of love

The things that bring us joy

And a smile on our faces

Like the thought of our love

Manifested in a coy giggle

 

(image courtesy –  https://www.instagram.com/wildfiresss/?hl=en)

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