I’m not sure you know that you’ve broken a part of me forever. It’s the part of me that falls for the people I like. It’s that part of me that helps me learn to trust people. It’s the part of me that believes in the eternal spring of hope. Bluntly put, it’s the part of me that renders me capable of experiencing true and profound joy – you know, like I experienced with you. When you left, it broke that part of me.
I’m not sure you realize how hard I’m trying to do this alone, knowing what I know – that I’ll probably never experience the kind of happiness that I was able to find in your company. When we were busy dreaming about having a life together, I was so swayed by my fantasy that I didn’t think I needed to prepare myself for you leaving. I just thought that making myself worthy of you was more important. Here I am now, worthy and lonely.
I’m not sure if I am bitter, or just plain sad. All I know for sure is how hard I’m trying to do this without you and how much harder it gets everyday as you seem to get farther out of bounds. I felt it happening after you left & now all the hope has just become pain that shoots up of nowhere when I see a glimmer of us manifested in young lovers falling for each other.
I’m not sure how long I can go on like this, it’s really unfair, not just to me – but to the memory of what we once had. If you’re reading this, you should know that I’m not sure of anything anymore. It’s ironic, because being with you made me feel sure about something for the first time ever. It’s not fair that I have to go through this alone. Life’s not fair, I guess.