Bitch please, I said one day while cavorting over beers with some friends from work. Suddenly there was awkward silence and the tension in the air could be cut with a knife. Evidently, I had crossed a line when I used the forbidden b word. I tried presenting my rational argument but I knew that there would be no winning this argument (as you seldom can, with women) and the damage had been done.

The fact is, I say these words pretty casually. Words like fuck, bitch, slut, nigga. Out of context, these are bad words that can be quite disrespectful. But I didn’t say them out of context. More often than not, the context is humor and I’ve learnt the hard way that not everyone gets my sense of humor. That being said, I don’t give two shits cuz I have an amazing sense of humor.

George Carlin’s 7 words you can’t say on TV comes to mind. People are so blinded by their own self-importance and ignorance that they automatically attach context to these words, no matter what the actual context might be. In your head, you’ve decided that xyz is a bad word and I’m gonna be offended if someone says it. Because I’m quite cool otherwise, I drink, I dance, and I saw the AIB roast and didn’t get offended.

Getting offended by something someone said is very easy. It makes you feel super important and in most cases, you get an apology instantly. It’s a cheap thrill that people with small petty minds indulge themselves in.

The truth is, words are just sounds. They don’t mean anything. Actions and thoughts are what we should judge people for but we don’t. We judge them instead for the way they dress, how their hair looks, what they say. Never mind that I hold doors for women but I should really watch what I say. Because you’re incapable of open your mind a little beyond what you already know.

I wrote this because I know no one’s gonna read it so I won’t run into trouble again. Because words are just fucking sounds we make with our faces. Stop taking yourself so seriously. If you want to be offended, be offended by the education system that miserably failed you, be offended by your parents who raised you to be a self-important idiot. Be offended by your inadequate moral compass that is steering you wrong. Be offended that you got offended just because someone called you a “bad word” as a joke. Don’t ask me to watch what I say, watch what you get offended by.

There are real assholes in the world who do way more horrible things to women than just call them a bitch or a slut. Be offended by them. Find them and take your crusade for civilizing humanity to wherever they are. Leave a nigga alone.