I’ve decided to write a tell all. This is my not so anticipated yet ground breaking tell all. Let’s start from the beginning: I was born Siddhant Hussain Jamal Barrack Hariprasad Chaurasiya Dwivedee the third, best described by the epithet, “Siddhant the terrible”.

I was born with a rare deformity, an abnormally large penis, earning me the moniker “Not So Little Johnny”. Just how not so little was my johnny you ask? Well, it was extremely not so little. In fact, many a building instantly turned into debris as I walked around in merriment as a child, shattering skyscrapers and wreaking sheer havoc on the streets.

And so the legend was born – Siddhant the terrible and his mighty cock. But all good things come to an end. With great power comes great responsibility. This is my gift, my curse. I scheduled a penis reduction surgery and today I stand surgically reduced, but proud.