Hiranyakashyap, for those who don’t know was a brilliant man, who almost beat the system. And his story is an example of how you can never beat the system. Hiranyakashyap performed severe austerities and when God was pleased, he asked God for a boon:

“O my lord, O best of the givers of benediction, if you will kindly grant me the benediction I desire, please let me not meet death from any of the living entities created by you. Grant me that I not die within any residence or outside any residence, during the daytime or at night, nor on the ground or in the sky. Grant me that my death not be brought by any being other than those created by you, nor by any weapon, nor by any human being or animal. Grant me that I not meet death from any entity, living or nonliving. Grant me, further, that I not be killed by any demigod or demon or by any great snake from the lower planets. Since no one can kill you in the battlefield, you have no competitor. Therefore, grant me the benediction that I too may have no rival.”

“Okay, and you think this will make you immortal?”

“Of course it will”

“Then sure..go ahead. So be it”

“Thanks. You don’t think so?”

“Nothing like that. You’ll see” God replied, hiding a smirk.

A few years later…

You should’ve seen Hiranyakashyap’s face when God burst out of a pillar, half man-half lion, at twilight, Hiranyakashyap was like “Gimme a break. YOU’VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!”

Later that night, God was having a pint with some friends when he said “So I was ripping him apart on his threshold and I was like ‘dude, that’s neither IN your residence, nor is it OUT’ See what I did there?”

And I saw this on TV and now I’m thinking there’s gotta be like an unrated version of this somewhere on the internet. That show after hours on HBO. With the scene where a half man-half lion hacks a little boy’s father in front of him with his bare hands in front of his whole family and people. I’m not sure that scene got a U/A certificate that God’s generally used to.


Dont you wanna see the rest of that? Come on. It’s badass.