The mystery, the enigma
That is a woman’s vagina
So hidden and protected
Like a buried treasure inside her

But it’s not so much, a buried treasure

it’s really more of treasure chest

The real treasure lies in my pants
And keeping it in there is the real test

That mystic hole, that whispering eye
It’s so beautiful and yet so gross
It throbs and leaks and squirts sometimes
For the carnal, aching want of a hose

Vaginas are evil. They’re treacherous, they lie
they don’t get hard or ejaculate
One can never know when they’re satisfied
It’s almost as if, it’s entirely fate.

But a clever man who’s packing some heavy artillery
Knows how to quench that insatiable thirst
Cause it’s not about going fast or slow
It’s about not being selfish and letting her finish first

Because you see, once you’re done , err…you’re done
But if she’s done she can go again
So if you’re man enough, hold it in
And you’re guaranteed to get some windfall gain

Don’t be scared to stick your tongue in
Thrust it in there if you may
Stiffen it up a little and make sure it’s wet
And once you’re in, concentrate. Don’t drift away

Here’s the bitch though, that somewhere

Is different for every single girl
But if you focus on her you’ll see clearly
There’s something that makes her scream and whirl

You can touch, you can play
Use a finger or two if they fit
And for better results
Simultaneously stroke the clit

And whilst we’re discussing vaginas,
How can I leave out pubes?
Because that would be like having scotch
And forgetting to put ice cubes

As a connoisseur of both vaginas and scotch,
If you asked me to pick one
I’d have to pick vaginas dude…
Because I have a giant love gun

But let’s get back to pubes for now
I like vaginas that are well groomed
Women do their eye lashed for God’s sake!
So it’s really not wrong that I assumed

Ok, let’s see what else is there?
Oh yeah! The lips! I love those things.
They’re like soft doors to paradise
A lot of joy they bring

I think I better stop now
Vaginas ain’t that complex
And even if they are, I don’t care
I’m just this guy who loves to have sex